over thinking everything gets the best of me.

I was just thinking about things and now I'm totally freaking out.
What if I don't get approved for Social Security Disability? Then what am I supposed to do? I can't go back to Kinney's, I don't really want to go back there. How will I pay my bills? Should I apply for it a second time or what? I have no idea what I'm going to do when and if that happens. I wouldn't even know where to start with my life if I don't get approved for it. I'd definitely want to get the hell out of Wolcott. Where would I work?! Shit. This is stressful just thinking about it and I won't know anything from SS for another 4-6 months. I shouldn't worry about it so much but for some reason I am right now. Meh :(
I just wish I knew now what was going to happen.
I wish I weren't sick. I wish I had a healthy liver and a healthy life.
Sigh.
I hope I wake up tomorrow not thinking about this stuff.